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end​.​summer

by tag day

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1.
one of these days i'll finally be swallowed up a black hole will take me away why go through the trouble of acting like i'm all okay? i'm drowning i can't swim no matter what kind words you say i'm living off fried food and pepsi like three cans a day let's act like we're lovers i'm letting you lead me astray and so i wait for you like you want me to i hate this club like you said i would do let's stop this now i'm wide awake i ate too much pizza my meds won't do shit tonight if i miss them i'm fucked up i take them i'm still not alright i just wish i would perish as meteors fall from the sky but once more they miss me and once more i'm clinging to life
2.
rose 03:16
writing sad songs in my bedroom while you hang outside the window yes you're pretty on the outside but there's thorns upon your neck though i would kiss you in the morning cut my lips upon your flesh rose, why won't you call me? we could colour in the rest they may cut you down and line you up and sell you to the couples who will buy your bunches, lies and stuff to ignore all their troubles we could lay in bed and watch tv or listen to some records rose, why won't you call me? we could colour in the rest 'cause your beauty knows no bounds but your words they find no sounds 'cause you'd never talk to me you're the rose and i'm the tree i'm the tree, yeah, i'm the tree yes, you're so much more than me i'm the tree, yeah, i'm the tree you're the rose and i'm the tree would you notice if i sprung my leaves and coloured them like autumn? we could be something real sweet but i don't have the fortune for you to even look at me i'm not like all the flowers you always disable me as nature strikes the hours 'cause your beauty knows no bounds but your words they find no sounds 'cause you're so much more than me you're the rose and i'm the tree yes, your beauty knows no bounds but your words they find no sounds 'cause you're so much more than me you're the rose and i'm the tree i'm the tree, yeah, i'm the tree yes you're so much more than me i'm the tree, yeah, i'm the tree you're the rose and i'm the tree
3.
one more simple thing before i go into the clouds all these little things you do i can't quite work them out one more stop and one more promise i'll try to make you proud something seeming not important i close my eyes and drown the devil rages constantly i'd like to be more calm but hell seems kind of comforting at least it's somewhat warm so lucifer please hear my pleas i'd like to get her back bring her back in just one piece with less of the attack paradise seems so far off now i've lost this tin foil crown and if god is inside of me i'd like to let her out paradise seems so far off now i've lost this tin foil crown and if god is inside of me i'll probably spit her out
4.
fossil fuels 02:24
let's act like we're dinosaurs buried beneath the ground turning to fossil fuels since the meteors wiped us all out let's be archaeologists and study what brought us all down we once ruled the earth but now we're just bones in the ground the fossils of my footsteps will be making no sound this video game headache has set in now you're not around let's act like sandcastles with shells on and stones in our cracks turning to particles as tides turn and wash us all back i don't want to leave the house but sometimes it seems not that bad i wish i was more honest then maybe i would be less sad the fossils of my footsteps will be making no sounds this video game headache has set in now you're not around
5.
golden town 02:22
down in the depths of golden town the devil gathers them around to fight this day for him to take to fight against old heavens sake with sword in hand they take the vow to take his lord and saviour down when thunder strikes for war and strife the opening of lilac skies his greatest aspirations his reckoning day it's all commiserations the price he pays and his final fall from glory the ultimate cost ol' lucifer will call this his paradise lost so with the mantle in his hand the might of god is reigning down the dawn of man, the fields of eden satan found this quite appealing a snake said take a single bite for if you do you'll have the right to overthrow both god and hell for adam's rib to own herself his greatest aspirations his reckoning day it's all commiserations the price he pays and his final fall from glory the ultimate cost ol' lucifer will call this his paradise lost (yeah? alright) down in the depths of golden wastes the devil moulds their minds like clay to fight this day for him to take to fight against their only sake
6.
the stranger 05:13
a stranger goes to church to mourn his father hoping he will find some peace of mind he bows his head and holds his hands to heaven through scarlet eyes he begins to cry oh god, have you abandoned me? i've lost my life at 23 a crippled man with aching feet and calloused hands from praising thee your church stands on a field of dust beneath the surface layer of rust tell me this is not my fault i've lost my heart and all my soul a mother goes to mourn her son in autumn hoping she will find some clarity she watched him fall and drown in holy water bows her head as she begins to speak oh god, have you abandoned me? you took my son at 17 i've walked a mile on aching feet my pilgrimage for praising thee your church stands on a field of dust beneath the surface layer of rust tell me this is not my fault i've lost my heart and all my soul farewell happy fields where joy forever dwells hail horror, hail infernal world and thou profoundest hell receive thy new possessor one who brings a mind not to be changed by place or time the mind is it's own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell a hell of heaven what matter where if i still be the same and i should be all but less that he who thunder hath made greater? here at last, we shall be free we shall be free here we may reign secure and in my choice it's better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven now god it's me, i'm on my knees before you i searched a year for reasons for this life i'm begging thee to end this constant torture you're cursing me with fear and failing eyes now if you stand for everything you claim to why do bad things happen to such caring souls? you took my life now how can i repay you? are you happy now you've got him in your hold? oh god, have you abandoned me? i've lost my life at 23 a crippled man with aching feet and calloused hands from praising thee your church stands on a field of dust beneath the surface layer of rust tell me this is not my fault i've lost my heart and all my soul
7.
stay awake at night and hate myself picture perfect memories are cleared from my old shelf everything has gone to hell but would the devil go to heaven if he killed himself? and if it rains in heaven are the raindrops made from gold? or liquid mercury? or little paper folds? and if this isn't heaven do we live in hell? and if that is a secret i will never tell losing paradise take a bite from eden make me feel alright turn on all the lights if i want to lay in darkness i will close my eyes take me to the altar bathe my skin in mud take me to oblivion to bathe in blood if i look for heaven on this lonely night do you think that i will find it if i take my life? losing paradise take a bite from eden make me feel alright turn on all the lights if i want to lay in darkness i will close my eyes
8.
can i stop dreaming of you and every conversation that we had? too broke to fix i know i loved you still when things were bad eternity was nothing when i looked in to your eyes but my bipolar tendencies cost my life i'm just a caterpillar squirming 'round upon your hand the promise i'll be butterfly keeps my body warm but then you go and change without me your wings are bright yellow and mine still carry acne was it foolish of me to think that we could ever be? i'm too selfish to live, i'm just a fucking leech i hope you burn caterpillar, don't leave your cocoon because the world would be much better if you could meet your doom was it foolish of me to think that we could ever be? can i stop dreaming of you and every conversation that we had? too broke to fix i know i loved you still when things were bad
9.
jezebel 04:42
hallowed father take my hand lead me home to the promised land i've been sinful, cut me down break my chains, hear me now i've been searching in a murky bar i'm seeking jordan in an empty glass please send my love to the ones i hurt he will return to fulfil his work oh, for her i would cleanse my soul i'd walk the path that i ought to know for a moment in the promised land if for a moment she would take my hand across the water in kingdom come he says "i gave you my only son" listen softly you'll hear him cry i try to speak but my throat runs dry holy father, i've lost my way i need redemption for the pearly gates i don't want to meet with jezebel but i'm deserving of the flames of hell oh, for her, i would cleanse my soul i'd walk the path that i ought to know for a moment in the promised land if for a moment she would take my hand
10.
cut 02:46
haven't slept properly in about a week with everything coming over me like a tidal wave in a long lost sea and god has long abandoned me lost my innocence at 17 to the wicked witch of obscenity led me to the devil he told me i'd be better if i cut it short call it quits cut my losses and cut my wrists cut it short call it quits i'd cut my losses but i lost my wits i would take my trip to the promised land but i slept on the couch to appease my hand too many times i've lost my land to the second thoughts of another man i would call you up at 3am to try to kindle things again but that other man is now your friend so i guess that means my life must end when i cut it short call it quits cut my losses cut my wrists cut it short call it quits cut my losses but i lost my wits forever was longer for me i called you mine when i was just 19 and you cross my mind at 23 i'd move on but it's the saddest thing so i cut it short call it quits cut my losses cut my wrists cut it short call it quits i'd cut my losses but i lost my wits
11.
be you 02:27
these lights are flickering they're driving me insane there's something making noise i think my mind has broke again i can't see you right now i can't see you right now i can't see you the room just won't stay still i think i drank too much again i quit for two whole years so why am i still in this pain? i can't see you right now i can't see you right now i can't see you i'm sorry for everything i guess i let you down today i'll burn an effigy of the person i used to be i can't be you right now i can't be you right now i can't be you
12.
bloodsucker 03:20
do you want me to ruin your life? it's the fact of the matter but it's something you'll deny i'm a drain on all my friends taking what i take i pull them dry of nutrients something like a bloodsucker a vampire of emotion i can not find a cure pretend i'm looking hard when i don't look at all these are trying times but i won't try at all pretend i'm looking hard when i don't look at all these are trying times but i won't try at all let me drain your life and all your soul i'll let you take the wheel but i'll always have control expectations eternally high i set the bar real good but i keep it out my sight pretend i'm looking hard when i don't look at all these are trying times but i won't try at all pretend i'm looking hard when i don't look at all these are trying times but i won't try at all
13.
you hate it 'round here anyway so what's the difference if you want to spend another day indoors? i kinda want to go to space or vanish from existence like a fucking dinosaur let's tattoo on eachother's brains with images of martian lands and i might be a better man i'm in between the two it seems a fucking mess of oestrogen i'm not myself, i'm not myself i'm not myself, i'm not myself all i ever want to do is change but what's wrong with who i am? why can't i stay the same? maybe i'm from outer space it would make more sense to me if i came from mercury i'm in between the two it seems a fucking mess of oestrogen i'm not myself, i'm not myself i'm not myself, i'm not myself
14.
scumbag 04:38
are you done sleeping 'round with your friends? i heard you settled down with a friend will it end soon? and i heard that he's got a girl she waits at home while he gives you a whirl in the bedroom so try and roll another cigarette take a pull as he crawls from the bed to the bathroom text his girl says he's got stuck at work he's got a job and it comes with the perks of your perfume oh juliet, what have you done today? it's getting late and he's needing his fix sneaks one out to your instagram flicks what a scumbag sends you texts full of shit poetry read them out but this isn't for free he wants something back oh juliet, what have you done today? yeah the lights are on but the resident's away yeah my phone is on but there's nothing left to say you're in a bathroom stall snorting lines of special k oh juliet, you've fallen down again now he's left her what a tragedy he's all yours, you can take it from me he's no catch, love and he'll probably do it back to you it's up to you to walk in her shoes read that back, love nasty vodka and canterbury weed getting high so you don't have to see you're no catch, love takes your pics whilst you're down on your knees shows them off for a bit of charlie what a match, love oh juliet, what have you done today?
15.
they were both young, both dumb in love nothing ever came above their heads romeo and juliet as if written by a lonely poet but romeo he threw too hard the rocks shattered through the glass but juliet she loved him still but wasn't sure she had the will she said "romeo you've got to change and see the errors of your ways you're breaking me and if you stay i need to know you're mine today and everyday until we die and after that we'll come alive and be together endlessly oh romeo please stay with me" took their pills and laid in bed said things they wish they'd never said juliet i love you dear i love you throughout all my years but romeo's a drunken mess he hits the can to fix his head take some time to rearrange oh juliet please won't you stay he said "juliet, i swear i'll change i see the errors of my ways i'm breaking you and if you stay i promise i'll be yours today and everyday until we die and after that we'll come alive and be together endlessly oh, juliet, please stay with me" they said "we can work through this tonight i promise you we'll be alright you make me laugh, you make me cry you make me feel all warm inside juliet i love you so please can i be your romeo? we'll be together endlessly oh juliet please won't you see?
16.
earthworm 02:12
hello, i'm me i'm in between the broken words forgotten dreams a promise made broke in a day a lifetime lie another guy a fucking mess of oestrogen lacking in my own bloodstream i want to be somebody else but i guess i'm stuck as el so hold my hand let me be more than a man i could be all you need but the space between my brain says i'm better off as me i'm better off as me hello, amy i know it seems i'm sad again but i'm your friend i want to see you in between my arms i want to hold your hand i know it's hard the drugs and scars the lonely nights you're in my heart we'll get that house and all those cats i would fucking love for that so hold my hand let me be more than a man i could be all you need but the space between my brain says i'm better off as me i'm better of as me so hold my hand let me be more than a man i could be all you need but the space between my brain says i'm better off as me i'm better off as me but we could be
17.
toast 01:13
3am i've got no sleep i'm searching for a bite to eat the fridge is looking incomplete a slice of cheese just can't compete i look around and scratch my head and finally find a slice of bread i'll cook this up with butter spread then i can finally get some rest i go and flick the grill to high and toast it brown on just one side flip it over it's complete a golden, crispy late night treat salted butter nice and thick lather it with jam and shit wipe my mouth and say goodnight that toasted treat it hit just right
18.
sleep in sleeping fox oh you are everything i'm not creeping down the hall after too much fucking alcohol stitch your hand back up oh you are nothing you are not stitch your soul back up oh you are nothing you are gone you've heard this one before it's nothing new there's nothing more it's just my breaking voice over 1, 2, 3, 4 minor chords using worn out tropes i've heard it all, i've heard it all you say you want the rope but you would choke now wouldn't you? oxygen gasping for a meaning my oldest friend i can't recall when i seen him last oh fuck this shit i'm a boring piece of - you're a boring piece of shit
19.
end. 00:53

credits

released September 19, 2020

written, performed, recorded, mixed and mastered by el hudson tyler

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tag day Canterbury, UK

early boi strikes back

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indy sucks

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